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Yoliswa Dube-Moyo

My car has been giving me problems which I thought I could ignore. I tried to stick it out for a while but when it suddenly cut off the other day, I knew I had no choice but to take it to the mechanics. Demy-Lee, is what we call her — the car. Why does the car have a name? That’s a story for another day. 

Anyway, Demy fell sick at a very inconvenient time. I had business to attend to out of town all week. Being immobile was the last thing I needed! It’s been a challenge for me especially considering I had heavily relied on Demy to take me places for years. I was unfamiliar with my neighborhood’s public transport system; my husband had a good laugh when I was telling him I thought I was lost when the kombi used a route I didn’t know. 

After getting a lift from friends for a day or two, I felt like an inconvenience and convinced myself public transport wouldn’t kill me. Day one fortunately or unfortunately culminated into a Zupco bus ride into town. 

This would be my first time on one of these in years. My mother often reminds me of the tantrum I threw when I was a little girl and we had to visit my dad’s rural home via a Chicken bus. Let’s just say I’ve never liked buses. 

It can’t be that bad, I told myself. The bus stopped for me; a female dreadlocked conductor swung the door open. She hopped out, stretched out her hand for my $5 bus fare. I paid, she gave me a ticket and into the bus I leapt. Thankfully, I was in jeans and Chucks. The bus wasn’t full so there was plenty of sitting space. I found a “comfortable” spot, sat and slid my phone out of my bag. 

Social media would keep me distracted through this ride which Demy would do in 15 minutes but wound up taking 30 minutes. 

There was music playing in the bus but I later discovered it was actually a passenger playing music from a portable speaker! I really didn’t mind the music to be honest. 

I watched as people got on and off the bus; it was an interesting experience until someone decided to spray a few puffs of their perfume while on the bus. How vulgar! 

I mean, you want to smell fresh but being in a public space, how about considering the people you’re sharing the space with? 

Suddenly, this strong, overwhelming, floral based perfume filled the entire bus. I couldn’t wait to drop off and breathe in some fresh air! Some people don’t understand that personal grooming should be done in private. 

Ever seen women who whip up their make-up kit and mirror and start doing their make-up at their desk in a pool office? Or those that start combing their hair in a car with other people present. It’s rude to say the least. 

There are just some things you can’t do in public. Before you start using the bus as an extension of your washroom, there are a few absolute no-no’s when it comes to personal grooming etiquette habits that should never be done in public as published by the Huffington Post.

Clipping toe nails. Between the crusty feet and flying hang nails, these are the makings of a brutal public brawl.

Filing nails. We don’t want embarrassing dandruff flakes on our LBD, so what makes you think we would like our clothes covered in nail shavings?

Flossing teeth. It’s just better if mouths are kept closed.

Cleaning out your ears. The only wax that we can get down with is the kind that makes up our scented candles.

Popping pimples. Not only is this gross, but you can potentially do more harm to your skin by busting that zit.

Looking at the contents of your Kleenex. Blow. Fold. Toss. OK?

Curling your lashes. Why would anyone risk using a potentially dangerous tool near one’s eyes on a crowded bus?

Spraying perfume. You may be a girl that adores floral scents, but the guy sitting next to you could get into a heap of trouble with his lady if he returns home smelling of White Diamonds.

Putting on full makeup. We can appreciate a stylish compact, but there’s no need to whip out your tiny mirror and give everyone else a makeup tutorial.

Painting your nails. The fumes alone are enough to unleash someone’s bad side.

Inserting eye drops. We’re all for minimising any signs of last night’s party, but take care of this before heading out the door.

Putting on lotion anywhere besides your hands. Dry, ashy skin is a bummer, especially in winter. But it’s better to lotion up at home.

Applying deodorant. It is disrespectful to subject your neighbour to a whiff of your underarm funk even if you’re handling the situation.

Removing nose hairs. If we don’t want to see what’s lurking inside your snotty tissue, what makes you think we’d want to know what’s going on up your nose?

Respecting other people is the first common sense approach when it comes to following social etiquette. 

*Additional information from corporateclassicinc.com

Until next week, flaunt your pattern and style and don’t forget to catch up with me on Twitter handle @Yolisswa or drop me a WhatsApp message on +263774492700.